Movies to watch together long distance, by mood

A film on a call is a slightly different film. Whispered scenes get lost under "sorry, what did she say?", a jump scare lands twice (once for each of you, a beat apart), and a three-hour epic starting at 10pm for one of you starts at 5.30am for the other. The best picks are the ones that suit the night you're actually having.

What makes a film work over a call

• Clear dialogue beats whispered dialogue. Films that are mostly murmurs get swallowed by call audio. Turn on subtitles whenever you're unsure.
• Under two hours on a weeknight. Leave room to talk afterwards, which is half the point.
• Pause-friendly beats twisty. If one of you will need to stop for a doorbell or a crying flatmate, avoid films where missing two minutes ruins the ending.
• Matching energy matters more than matching taste. Someone at the end of a 12-hour shift and someone on a lazy Sunday morning want different films, even if you both love horror.

Comfort: when you're both tired

• Paddington 2 (2017). Kindness as a plot engine, and almost impossible to watch in a bad mood.
• My Neighbor Totoro (1988). Gentle enough that it doesn't matter if one of you falls asleep on the call.
• Chef (2014). A food-truck road trip that will make you both hungry at very different times of day.
• Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (2011). Three friends on a road trip through Spain, and a reminder of the trip you'll take together.
• The Princess Bride (1987). Adventure, romance and lines you'll be quoting at each other for years.

A good cry: when you miss each other

Sad films may be worth watching together. In one 2016 study, people who watched an emotionally arousing drama in groups reported a stronger sense of group bonding afterwards than people who watched an emotionally neutral film. That was in a room, not on a call, and it's one study, so take it as a hint that shared emotion may help, not a promise.

• Up (2009). The opening minutes tell a whole marriage, and you'll both be gone before the balloons.
• Coco (2017). About keeping close the people who aren't there, which hits differently when someone you love lives far away.
• The Farewell (2019). A family scattered across countries gathers around one secret; for anyone who lives far from their grandparents.
• About Time (2013). Sold as a romantic comedy, remembered for the father and son.
• Lion (2016). A boy lost in India searches for home decades later from Australia. Have tissues within reach on both ends.

Laughs: when you need a lift

• Game Night (2018). A couple's competitive streak meets a kidnapping that may or may not be part of the game.
• Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016). A grumpy uncle and a foster kid on the run in the New Zealand bush.
• Andaz Apna Apna (1994). Two hopeless rivals chase the same heiress; a cult favourite for a reason.
• Palm Springs (2020). A time-loop romance at a wedding, funnier than it has any right to be.
• Queen (2014). A bride dumped the day before her wedding goes on the honeymoon alone, and finds out who she is.

Something to talk about afterwards

Pick one of these when you have time to stay on the call after the credits. The conversation is half the film.

• Arrival (2016). About language and time; you'll argue about what you'd have chosen.
• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). Would you erase the painful parts of a relationship? Answer honestly.
• Her (2013). A relationship carried on almost entirely through a voice, uncomfortably close to home for couples who live on their phones.
• Parasite (2019). Starts as a comedy about two families and turns into something else.
• Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022). Chaotic, then quietly about a family who can't say what they mean.

Scary: for screaming at the same moment

Horror works surprisingly well apart: there's always someone to grab, even if it's a pillow.

• Get Out (2017). Meeting a partner's parents goes as badly as it possibly could.
• Train to Busan (2016). Zombies on a high-speed train, and more heart than you'd expect.
• A Quiet Place (2018). Long near-silent stretches, so expect to catch yourselves whispering on the call.
• Tumbbad (2018). Folk horror about greed, built on a story you won't have seen before.
• Shaun of the Dead (2004). For the one of you who doesn't really like horror.

Films about distance and being apart

These hit hardest when you're living them. Some are hopeful, some aren't comfort viewing at all, so pick them on a week when you're both steady, not the night after a goodbye.

• The Before trilogy: Before Sunrise (1995), Before Sunset (2004) and Before Midnight (2013). One night together, then years apart, then real life. Watch one a week and talk about which couple you are.
• Like Crazy (2011). A visa overstay splits a couple between London and Los Angeles. Hard viewing if you're in the middle of paperwork yourselves.
• Going the Distance (2010). A New York and San Francisco long-distance comedy, much lighter than the rest of this list.
• Past Lives (2023). Two childhood friends separated when one family emigrates, meeting again decades later. Quiet and devastating.
• The Lunchbox (2013). A connection built through notes passed in a lunchbox across Mumbai, a lot like falling for someone through messages.
• Brooklyn (2015). An Irish woman who emigrates to New York in the 1950s and is pulled between two homes. For whichever of you moved away.
• Interstellar (2014). A father and daughter separated by space and time, with messages arriving years too late.

If these films make the distance feel heavier, that's normal, and it's worth talking about. Our guide to making long distance work covers what research says about the end of the distance, and the after-visit blues are worth reading before the next goodbye.

If you can't decide between three of these, how to pick a film in five minutes has a method that ends the scrolling.

Key takeaways

Copy

• Choose by the mood you're both in tonight, not by a ranked list of the best films.
• On a call, clear dialogue, subtitles and a running time under two hours make weeknight films easier.
• Sad films can be worth watching together: in one in-person study, people who watched an emotional drama in groups reported feeling more bonded afterwards.
• Films about distance, like Like Crazy and Past Lives, are best saved for a steady week, not the night after a goodbye.
• Streaming availability changes by month and country, so check each title for both of your countries.